Tired to the bones

I just finished teaching my 5th class today. What was I thinking? Well, actually, I was thinking it would save me time. I didn't have to go to the studio T and W, but in actuality it is far too exhausting to be worthwhile. But, alas, we can only live and learn. Time, time, time. We all have the same, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, why save it?

I have been beating myself up over the fact I have been waking up at 4:30 a.m. But what I realized this week is my body is waking me up for a reason. As a mother of 3 young kids, if I want to work and be present with them, then I have to work those early morning hours and those later night hours. That is the way it goes. So, while I have been worrying that the "spinning" has been waking me up, I think my body has been trying to tell me something - get up because this is the only time you might get today and if you peck away at those tasks, you will be so much more present as the day unfolds.

Isn't it crazy how exhaustion leads us down the path of compassion-less thinking? I can almost predict my patterns, no, I can predict them. Exhaustion=overwhelmed=why-am-i-doing-this?=how can I get it all done=I am not worthy. Like a boulder cut loose on a mountain, this downward spiraling gains more and more momentum until it bowls over everything in its path - it literally fells those newborn trees whose roots have just sprouted.

The beauty of yoga pulls me back and I plant new seeds. As I share my personal struggle of being present with others, as I read and re-read yoga philosophy, I begin to carve out a path. Yes those boulders get in the way, but I also return to my path more easily. My quiet moments remind me that to be truly present, we must first understand the obstacles that lie in our way. Sustaining those contradictory thoughts (I am not worthy) and calming the impulse to eliminate them, helps us to understand why it is we can't be present. Becoming aware of our habits is the first step to understanding them.

Good enough. It is both good and enough. That is why I have no new recipes to share. Pizza tonight and I quite literally scrambled all week - went to make my favorite stand-by - falafel and realized I didn't have falafel mix. No worries, I thought, I will use leftover meatloaf, went to serve them, realized I forgot to make the tzatziki sauce. Pita bread, meatloaf, fresh mozzarella, tomatoes, well I have had worse......it was good enough. It all HAS TO BE good enough.

Trip to the ER

We had our first trip to the ER yesterday. Ellie fell off the couch backwards and crunched her neck. She was very upset, her neck hurt to the touch and she was having trouble bending it. These calls are never easy - go right away? Wait it out? Skip it entirely? She was very emotional, so I waited until she calmed down to really get a handle on the situation. In the meantime, I called my brother who suggested not ignoring neck issues and balanced that with Shawn who felt it was not necessary. It was a easy decision for me: take her. We were so fortunate in that we were in and out in 30 minutes, without any tests and only a sore neck. Should I have waited? Perhaps.

We make the best decisions we are capable of making at the time. Often times our instincts are right - I am pretty good at going with my gut, and this time I felt it was the right thing to do. I also trusted my gut when the ER doc looked to me to make the call about X-Rays. I knew by then it wasn't necessary.

We had a sweet weekend, Ellie and I. She and I walked home alone from a birthday party and stopped and sat a few times. I practiced my breathing and reminded her I am always here for her. We were present. I held her on the couch and calmed her (and myself) while I tried to assess the situation with her neck. We took some deep breaths. I held her in the ER as she was terrified and kissed her sweet, beautiful face. When it was all over I got her McDonalds and myself a coffee and we ate. She was happy. I was relieved. We walked to the neighbors and cut rhubarb to make rhubarb bars (she in her Easy Bake Oven), but by then the adrenaline had faded and I was having trouble focusing and ended up having to make a batch of chocolate chip cookies first when we creamed the butter and sugar. By 3:00 when Shawn and the twins got home, I collapsed on the couch. It is amazing how stress zaps every last fiber of our being. I half deep breathed/slept/listened to the girls play around me. It was a very outer-body experience - a place between wake and sleep, but I was rejuvenated and ready for my Sunday evening Yakima Yoga meeting. We are almost there. I have done all I can do and as we discussed changes to the website and the finishing touches to the promotional materials, I felt good. I don't know what the future holds, but tonight as we signed all the paperwork at the bank, I feel like I have done my homework and can stand behind Yoga Management LLC - whatever path it takes me down. As I missed bedtime (again) tonight because as I am learning, none of these quick tasks are actually quick, I could feel myself spiraling down the path of guilt. It was short-lived. It Takes a Village. Thank you Hilary Clinton. My husband, my friends, my family - everyone is pitching in as I juggle this new role. I am so grateful. The connection my daughters are developing with their dad is beautiful. It is so freeing for me to let go - to loosen those reigns and trust that this is the best thing for all of us.

My friend (I am not sure the etiquette of blogging, but I don't think you are supposed to name names) is a fabulous cook (on Saturday she presented a plate of grilled vegetables that would have made The Barefoot Contessa weep). She gave me this recipe from Bon Appetite. I have made it once and last night Shawn whipped it up. It is sooooo easy (think 10 minutes) and so unbelievably good: Asian Shrimp, Pineapple, And Peanut Salad.

It is rhubarb season. I made these rhubarb bars several times last year. I have a few new rhubarb recipes that I hope to break out before it comes and goes, but sometimes the old stand-bys are best (well, easiest)

Oatmeal Rhubarb Streusal Bars

3 cups oatmeal

2 cups flour

1 1/4 c brown sugar

2 sticks butter

1/2 c. sugar

1/4 c. flour

1 tsp ground ginger

4-5 cups sliced rhubarb

Ginger icing, and 1 Tbsp finely chopped crystallized ginger

Preheat oven to 350. Line 15 x 10 (you could probably use 13 x 9 I just happen to have a larger pan) with heavy foil extended beyond pan edges.

In large bowl, stir together oats, 2 c. flour, and b. sugar. Cut in butter until coarse crumbs form. Reserve 2 cups oat mixture. Press remaining on bottom of pan and bake for 20 minutes.

As that bakes, stir together remaining sugar, flour and ginger and add rhubarb, toss to coat. Spread on hot crust and sprinkle rest of oat mixture on top and press lightly.

Bake for 30 minutes until filling is slightly bubbly (it won't be very bubbly, so don't overbake, maybe even 28 minutes). Cool, then drizzle with icing (1/2 c. powdered sugar, 3-4 tsps milk) and top with crystallized ginger. Lift from pan, cut into bars (they are kind of hard to cut). Store in refrigerator.

True Love

A friend gave me a copy of True Love: A practice for Awakening the Heart by Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist monk. It was very timely as I have been studying the same 4 tenets of cultivating love in the Yoga Sutras: lovingkindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity, which also stem from the Buddhist tradition. He writes about mindfulness and says:

"The most precious gift you can give to the one you love is your true presence. What must we do to really be there? Those who have practiced Buddhist meditation know that meditation is above all being present: to yourself, to those you love, to life."

I am a terrible meditator. I say that with compassion for myself because I keep at it, I really do. Lately, it has been in the form of trying to fall back asleep. So at 4:30 yesterday morning I practiced mindful breathing, as I had been during the night when I woke up periodically. "Breathing - I know that I am breathing in. Breathing - I know that I am breathing out" a simple meditation to connect my mind and body.

Meditation is listening. Erich Schiffman, whose text I studied during my yoga certification, has a quote I often use, "yoga is a way of moving into stillness in order to experience the truth of who you are." Meditation is the vehicle in which to listen. As Shawn and I sat on the couch last night sipping a cocktail ( I should drink more, I should. I am like my Dad when I have a few drinks: fun, communicative, loose, but then a few hours later I want to go to bed, so it is a hard mix. ) I had a stunning realization. One of the reasons I struggle with meditation is I am not a good listener. As I communicated this to Shawn, he totally agreed. Isn't it crazy when you uncover these realizations about yourself that are so obvious to others? I am not a good listener. This is what I love about this transformative practice of yoga. Everything you learn on the mat translates directly off the mat. As you work to peel away these layers - maybe purely from a physical standpoint (learning to listen to your body and as my teacher yesterday reminded us, asking: where are you forcing?) you realize that unfolding is absolutely occurring off the mat.

When I first started yoga, I approached it as a work out. I started yoga because I was looking for a new form of exercise and I heard about this really physical version, Ashtanga. It is a fast paced yoga practice with little time for perfecting alignment and often times classes too large to have personal instruction. In theory, Ashtanga yoga is beautiful. It is all about listening to your own body and learning from it - very experiential. The idea is you peck away at it and eventually it will all be revealed in the form of perfect postures. For strong people and people who are skilled at listening to their bodies, it is perfect, but for (reformed) athletes who view training as "pushing through the pain" it can be detrimental, as was my case. I have reflected a lot on this. At first I was frustrated with myself because I blamed it all on my ego - it got in the way and I didn't listen, but as I delve deeper into the layers of yoga, I realize it isn't just that. When you learn something new you look around and WATCH how to do it, you don't just LISTEN because you are simply trying to learn enough to be able to do it. The intersection between yoga and athleticism is interesting. Yoga is never about pushing through the physical pain, but certainly overcoming non-physical obstacles takes perseverance. I have stopped beating myself up about my early years as a yoga practitioner and my complete disregard for listening because it has 100% defined my role as a teacher. I know what it is like to unlearn bad practices and hope to inspire people to approach it from a healing standpoint, not a competitive endeavor. As for the listening, I told my husband I would really try harder to listen to his flying stories. And as I walked around the house all weekend quoting from my Buddhist book, " I will always be there for you" to my husband and kids, I meant it.

To the lighter stuff: a new recipe this week that we enjoyed: Almost Meatless Sloppy Joes. I have been back into the magazine Cooking Light. They recently underwent a face-lift and their recipes reflect a desire to eat healthier, but not sacrifice taste along the way. I doctored this up by adding some extra seasonings. A few more from my recent Cooking Lights: Grilled Chicken with Mint and Pine Nut Gremolata (with sugar snap peas and feta salad) where I substituted fish for the chicken. I have made this twice and it is excellent. I don't have the link for the snap pea salad but if you get CL it is May 2010. Taking advantage of asparagus season, I subbed it for the peas in Lemon Risotto With Peas, Tarragon and Leeks. Risotto really is easy. Sure you have to stir, but you can still do other things. I omitted leeks and used a mixture of shallot and onion.

The Art of Letting Go

Up at 5:15 this a.m. Tried to use the sweet rhythm of Piper's breath to meditate myself back to sleep, but I could tell - there was no stopping it - the mind was blazing, fretting, spinning. So got up and got to work. I am working on the schedule of activities for our promotion week in June - the Yoga Blitz. At 5:45 Piper came stumbling out. She showed up bedside at some point in the night and I knew if I got up, walked downstairs, it would be another hour for me to fall back asleep. This not being able to sleep is new - well at least new this year. I went through a similar phase last spring. I am energized at night and so I don't go to bed early enough, then the sunshine and birds start in at 5:30 and I am awake and spinning. The only problem: I am exhausted a good portion of the week. Shawn is out of town so I pulled Piper in to bed with me. I can count the times on one hand I have slept with my kids. If my kids are in bed, I don't sleep. Period. But Piper, sweet little thing, didn't move a muscle all night.

How can you resist your kids at 5:45 a.m? Blurry-eyed, sucking on her blankie, Piper just wanted to cuddle. It is my favorite time of the day. By 6:15 all kids were up and our day was rollin'. In between making French toast, lunch, dishes and hair (I am mastering French braids) and putting the kids in front of the TV, I sneaked back to my computer and finished a draft to send to the woman who updates our website. By 8:45 I was bleary-eyed, but determined to exercise before volunteering in Ellie's room. I could feel myself spiraling down that path of "I AM NOT WORTHY," Why am I doing this? Why am I a yoga teacher? I am EXHAUSTED and I have too many commitments. I am obsessed with getting things done by June 1 (most of it rightly so) but I have a difficult time being in the moment - the moment where you tell yourself, it will all get done, it will all work out, mostly because I really don't believe that about myself. Maybe that is the plague of over-achievers...it is never good enough.

It is all about letting go. I have to shed some of the roles I play as super-mom, If not, I will run myself into the ground and everyone suffers, most of all me. I don't put my kids in front of the TV in the morning. We usually have time for a few books and cuddles. I could feel my anxiety growing by doing it, but DAMNIT, who cares? Making French Toast? That was the old super mom who quite literally asked her kids every morning what they wanted for breakfast and made it. Why not? I didn't have anything better to do. This morning when they asked me, I knew I had run out of excuses, I needed to make a breakfast they wanted, but most mornings aren't going to afford that luxury anymore. I have to shed the role of super mom and embrace the role of super mom who teaches yoga and runs a studio. The art of letting go is not a simple task.

Shedding our skins is so difficult. Our habits define us - good and bad, but through the process of recognizing all of our little flaws, all of our tendencies, we begin to glean just a little comfort from knowing ourselves. I know I am a person who gets overwhelmed easily. I set high expectations and am an over-achiever. But tonight as I was teaching, I felt calm, relaxed, confidant - nothing like the person I was earlier in the day. No job has continual glory - not even teaching yoga, but you take the moments that are gifts and run with them - hoping that amidst the fog, these moments of clarity sustain you through the next obstacle.

It wouldn't be a blog if I didn't include a recipe. My kids love breakfast for dinner. It is a nice variation from The Babysitter Meal (pizza, mac, pasta). I always make double batches of pancakes and waffles. They are great after school snacks. I pop them in the microwave, smear a bit of butter and give them to the kids whole - no plates, syrup and all that, save that for breakfast, although if I am feeling REALLY nice, I might spread a dallop of jam. I don't have the pancake recipe typed up, so that is a later blog, but here is my waffle recipe I have modified over time.

Megan's Honey Bran Waffles

¾ c flour

¾ c wheat flour

1/2 c. wheat germ or bran

2 Tb flax

2 tsp baking powder

¼ tsp baking soda

½ tsp salt

Whisk together and add to dry ingredients:

1 ½ c. buttermilk

1/3 c honey, or 3 Tb agave nectar

4 Tb melted butter

2 eggs

½ tsp vanilla

Back to the Basics

I had a great private lesson today. My client is a wonderful older woman who is dedicated to our sessions. I usually make Tuesdays my work day and keep the girls at preschool all day. The past few Tuesdays I have been consumed with studio stuff and haven't allowed myself the time I need to prepare for my lessons. I moved my work day to Monday this week and this a.m. stayed away from my blog and spreadsheet and spent some time prepping for my classes. It doesn't take long to remind myself of the fact I am a brand new teacher. I don't do well "winging it" and I like to plan out and practice my sequences. Usually I come up with a theme for the week and then vary it slightly from class to class and modify for the gentler classes. So, the past few weeks I haven't felt as prepared and I really overwhelmed myself with my study of the brahmavaharas. My dear yoga friend talks about the "authentic voice" and I think because my personal life hasn't been full of lovingkindness and compassion for myself, I haven't felt authentic talking about it teaching. When I find myself getting lost on my yoga path (often), what seems to help is going back to the basics. Focusing on the very first poses I learned and using the textbooks I studied for my certification helps me to get back on track. The lesson that stands out the most is my teacher reminding us all as new teachers to KEEP IT SIMPLE. KNOW WHAT YOU TEACH, TEACH WHAT YOU KNOW. I felt so much more authentic tonight having and following my plan. Even the reading I did from Krishnamurti's "Meditations" felt right, simply because I have read it several times and I felt like I KNEW it. I left the studio...peaceful.

Isn't that life? If we can remember to focus on the basics and not get caught up in the superfluous, life cruises along. To borrow from another yoga teacher, "the lesson is the forgetting" we all forget the basics and the lessons we learn along the path to remembering are really the teacher, not the yoga.

News from the home front: My poor kids! The good news: Ellie finally had a solid poo, but Piper and Ivy still haven't-even after Immodium. So, it is time to visit the doctor, tomorrow afternoon.

I am feeling badly about my dog, Leo. He had surgery last week - a fatty cyst removed and his anal glands irrigated. lovely. Well we got home yesterday morning after our 7:15 a.m. breakfast. Yes, we were at the restaurant at 7:15 on a Sunday. Only the Tweedys. My kids got up at 6:00 and I couldn't bring myself to make the 100th meal of cinnamon toast. We had a nice breakfast then made a run for the border so ellie could "turn on the fan" in her own bathroom. At home, we notice Leo has a gaping wound! All of his stitches across a 6 in incision on his belly came out. And it is not an exaggeration to say it was GAPING. After a call to the emergency vet where we learned it would be $125 to walk in the door, Shawn saved the day and his wallet by steri-stripping the incision. (Shawn might have been feeling badly about the $80 he spent on wine at the auction the night before. Little side blog: Sneaking out of the girls' fundraiser at 9:15 p.m. during the live auction having spent only $5, (which is really bad since the pictures of Piper and Ivy were meant to be $10 donation each) I was secretly celebrating. Finances have been a bit tight and we are really trying to clamp down. Well, Shawn got caught at the front door empty handed and got suckered into buying the wine, which I berated him for the whole drive home...which he was too drunk to notice, AND after we forgot my sis in law and had to go back I learned she bought the WAY cheaper wine, which made me even madder..... Well, got to school this morning and there is a BIG bill for an auction item that I bid on, forgot about, and won. While I claimed to have been dead sober the whole night, I too was a bit tipsy, I now recollect. )

Today Leo went back to the vet and is wearing an ace-bandage body wrap, I am the proud owner of 20 boot camp sessions, and another day is wrapped up at the Tweedy household.

Follow up to the fudgesicles: AWESOME! Kids love them and I made a double batch, which made 16. Tonight we had our quinoa, green bean (except I used asparagus), tomato salad which I would include but I don't know how to link to a word document yet, and my kids had......bread.

Recipes GALORE!

There is another reason I want to blog. I want to "write" a cookbook. I did one before, "Megan's Tasty, Easy, Kid-Friendly Recipes" (or something to that effect) and have been gathering recipes for my 2nd edition. With the taking over of the yoga studio, that summer project is on the back burner. So, I thought I could start posting some of my recipes. My first is Megan's Granola Bars.

I have kind of developed this recipe as I go, so I am taking liberty to call them my own. I don't do much measuring with the add-ins, and really, you can add anything you have on hand. I think they are sooo tasty and my kids like them too. Another easy substitution is to skip adding the nuts during the first phase, and throw in a few handfuls of the nut/dried fruit mix you get at Costco. I used agave nectar. It is sweeter, so you use less.

Megan's Granola Bars

5 cups old-fashioned oats

3 Tb flax

Approx 3/4-1 cup (total) cup nuts, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, etc.

2 Tb canola oil

1/2 tsp salt

3/4 c. brown sugar

1/3 c. agave nectar or 1/2 c. honey

1 Tb vanilla

1 cup dried fruit (cherries, raisins, blueberries, etc)

3 Tb flax

1/2 to 3/4 c. chocolate chips, or 1/2 cup chopped dark chocolate

Heat oven to 350. Stir together oats, nuts, flax, oil and salt. Spread evenly in 15 X 10 rimmed baking sheet. Bake for 18 min., stirring occasionally. Remove mixture to a large bowl, Line same baking sheet with non-stick foil (and it helps to spray with Pam). Lower oven temp to 300. Combine brown sugar and honey/agave in sm. saucepan and cook, over med., stirring often until the sugar dissolves. Remove from heat, add vanilla. Add dried fruit and chocolate to oat mixture. Pour sugar mixture over top and stir well. Spread mixture into pan. Bake for approx. 20-25 minutes. I have underbaked and they were chewy, overbaked and they were crunchy - liked them both.

My latest food craze seems to be trying to avoid preservatives. The last two summers I was all about channeling my inner Barbara Kingsolver as I attempted to incorporate more and more local foods into our diet. It is pretty easy in Yakima. This summer I joined a CSA, since I don't always make it the 2 miles to the Farmer's Market (although I will this year since I added a Sunday a.m. yoga class) and they deliver. So, this summer I am trying to make more of my own foods in an attempt to avoid preservatives - I have no idea why. I made ricotta cheese last week and it was about the easiest thing one can ever make. I would include the recipe, but it is so damn easy, just go online. It does involves a lot of stirring, but you only need milk, and buttermilk or lemon. It was so tasty. The other thing we have enjoyed making is bagels. The girls can actually "make the snakes" and there are enough breaks in between the phases, you can do other things as well. The recipe I use is bagels (so cool, I just learned how to do that!!).

Last week I ate my homemade rice and beans four times. Antojitos, a Mexican restaurant right down the street, sells a dozen tortillas for $3. They are so unbelievably good! Here is the link to the Spanish rice. For the beans, I literally follow the directions on the back of a bag of dried pintos. To mash, I add garlic, few TB oil, and LOTs of salt. Delish! The girls had the trots all week so they lived on toast, cheese tortillas, and applesauce (yes, I do make my own applesauce and luckily I had a few containers in the freezer. How can you NOT make your own applesauce when you have an apple orchard? (5/16: trot update is still not good. Gave them Immodium for the first time today. )

Today's project was fudgesicles. Easy and I am writing as they are freezing. Ellie is getting to be a good stir-er. While the girls are sleeping, she is writing a story. Here it is, unedited and all: "On a cold saturday morninge me and my dog went on a walk we saw a brd siting on a branch an then I saw a bakree and i got 5 donats an I went home." ellie

Lastly, most Sunday's I make hummus. I originally followed a recipe from Barefoot Contessa, but I have made it my own.

Megan's Hummus

1 lemon, squeezed

1 can garbanzo beans, liquid saved

3-4 cloves garlic

3-4 TB tahini

1-2 Tb olive oil

2 Tb olive oil

1 tsp salt

dash of tabasco

2-3 Tb bean liquid

Process all ingredients in the food processor until smooth.

The reason my blog has been so successful is because I have to copy and edit 350 emails into Constant Contact, an email marketing program I am using for the studio. It is very tedious and every time I sit down to do it, I think of other things I enjoy more, like apparently, blogging.

I am a BLOGGER!

It is 6:30 a.m. Saturday morning. Ivy has been waking up before 6:00 the past few weeks. She is a smart one: she figured out I am the only one up and it is her one time during the day to have me all to herself. I love it too. Even though it is my "meditation" time, or time for my physical therapy exercises, these are both things I LOVE to procrastinate doing, so cuddling and reading is soooo much better.

Last night I decided I needed to start a blog. I was reading a book of poetry by my friend's husband, ( book: Down the Road the Children Go) and I was inspired. His poems are mostly written about his kids and for his kids, and like my author friend from Boise, who wrote a memoir for his twins during their time in Italy, I thought: I want to write some memories of my kids, for my kids. I gave up on the baby book long ago, so maybe this can be part baby book. Then again, this may be my one and only entry. So, that's part of it, but the other part is I need to keep journaling to manage my expectations of myself. My expectations are so sky-high and I don't always show myself compassion when I don't reach them (trying to practice the brahmaviharas: the Yoga Sutra and the Buddha taught these 4 pathways for cultivating a more loving, compassionate relationship with OURSELVES and others: lovingkindness-metta, compassion-karuna, joy-mudita, equanimity-upeksha). Writing through my thoughts provides moments of clarity.

I have always needed motivation for my journaling, and for some reason the blog appeals to me. What does that say? I need someone to read my writing? Could be. But, I still have never gotten quite comfortable with a "diary" maybe something about telling my inner most thoughts to no one but myself (who already knows them). Maybe it is my way of embracing technology since I don't Facebook and still feel the need to connect with others. So, what actually REALLY inspired me wasn't just the poetry book, or memoirs for my kids, but the need to write about yesterday. I wiped my kids' butts 10 times. My kids are 6, 4 and 4, and the fact I am wiping their butts is not an every day occurence, but a result of the outbreak of diarrhea that has plagued us for a week, culiminating with 10 " COME WIPE ME's" yesterday. That is A LOT of wiping.

This was a hard week. I talked about mudita (joy) in class and by the end of the week my joy had substantially diminished. In fact, by the time I missed the song singing (as did Piper and Ivy) at the Montessori open house (why call it an "open house" if there is a performance from 6:30-6:40?? ) and Ivy was hysterical and my state of overwhelmed-ness peaking, I just thought, "how am I going to do this? How am I going to run a yoga studio, teach classes, and manage a household?" It was my 5th commitment of the day, I still had our first Yakima Yoga staff meeting that evening and I was flat running out of steam. Luckily, I was able to soothe Ivy and watch her do her lessons at open house before I ran to my meeting. After jotting a zillion more things to add to my to-do list, I was brought to tears. Here in enters the Living My Yoga blog. When you lose perspective, the smallest tasks can seem like mountains. I 100% lost all perspective. Suddenly, all of these task were creeping closer to my June 1 deadline. I can't do it all. After canning asparagus yesterday ( I know. I just wrote canning asparagus and can't do it all in one sentence. That's my problem.) and doing the things I find joy in (yes, canning) the day got easier. My VOJ (voice of judgement here is a link to a great article: http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/1951?utm_source=DailyInsight&utm_medium=newsletter&utm_content=b&utm_campaign=DI__2010_05_04 overtook my life and left me with a lack of joy for yoga. My dear yoga compadres provided a pep talk and my perspective is slowly becoming less cloudy (yoga=lifting the veil in order to see ourselves more clearly and lessen the suffering). There are always going to be days like Thursday. And there will always be friends to save us from ourselves.